Best. Gifts. Ever. ?

I recently had a birthday, as people do, and got a lot of great gifts from my loved ones... perhaps the most fantastic, and certainly the most pertinent to this blog, were the bevvy of bacon themed gifts I got from my aunt (and would have gotten from my older brother, had his bottles of home made bacon vodka not exploded before he could give them to me). Sadly, none of these gifts were "Bacon: A love story", but I suppose I will have to buy that for myself. What I did get was the following:

1 jar of Bacon Salt
2 jars of Baconnaise
1 tube of Bacon lip balm
1 case of Bacon dental floss
1 tin of Bacon jelly beans
1 tin of Bacon mints
2 tins of bacon tooth-picks
1 Bacon scented air freshener
1 figurine (and prayer card) of St. Anthony, patron saint of bacon (who knew?)
1 "Seduced by Bacon" cook book.
1 box of Strawberry flavored Bacon gummi's.

All this to say that I have just learned that not all things that are bacon flavored actually taste like bacon. Math formula: Bacon Flavored < Made with real Bacon. Also, Made with real Bacon > Kevin Bacon.


So, have you ever given or received any Bacon themed gifts? I suggest that it's high time you start.


I guess my aunt didn't get the memo that Bake and Bacon fest starts next year.

Be Still My Heart

Sadly, I have no pictures to accompany this, but I thought it worth recording anyway. This week, while staying with my best friend, Derek, in Ventura, I was party to a wonder of meat mixtures. It goes like this:

Bun
Mayonnaise
Pepperjack Cheese
Bacon (four strips)
Hamburger patty (covered in Red Robbin seasoning)
Pepperjack Cheese
Bratwurst patty
Pepperjack Cheese
Bun


That, right there, is.... wonderful. It was enough burger that I don't think I could eat another one for at least a month.

*Edit: I forgot (and how could I? I am ashamed) that the whole thing was topped with a fried egg... well, it was topped with half of a bun, but just under that was a fried egg.

Bacon: Teacher, mother, secret lover.

On my seemingly never ending quest to kill myself with bacon, there have been many great moments. One of which is cataloged on this very blog. There have also been a few failures (such as honey teriyaki marinated bacon, which basically just stuck to the pan. It needs never be spoken of, save to prevent others from attempting such a sticky disaster). When I caught wind of this masterpiece, my clogged heart skipped a beat. Could it be?.... could someone have joined my two great loves into one glorious beverage?


I implore the teeming millions of you who read my blog to go here http://www.bakonvodka.com/index.php?section=float&page=where (sorry, seems it won't post as a link. gotta copy/paste) and submit your requests for it to be sold in california. If you don't care to have it in your area, use mine (95032) so that I might try it, and let you all know what I think. Also, I welcome any bacon based culinary suggestions. Submit them as a comment. If I like your idea, I might invite you to my 28th birthday "Bake and Bacon" party.

If this isn't Heaven, it's a heart-beat closer to it.

I believe that what I have created is, quite frankly, Heaven, in food form. At the very least, eating it will bring you closer to Heaven, if that is where you will end up. If you are a heathen, perhaps it's best if you stay away from the Steak cordon Bacon. It is, simply stated, steak, with cheese and bacon inside, cooked with more bacon... but the process of cooking makes it so much more than that. Inspired by the great heart stopping treats I read about on geekologie.com

You start with honey and teriyaki sauce.
Mix in a pot on low heat, until they are fully combined.

Then, add steak.

Marinate the steak for a full 24 hours for best result.

When the steak is ready, cook a few pieces of bacon. While the bacon is cooking, take a knife and cut a small opening in the side of the steak. Move the knife around inside, creating a cavity which you will fill with chunks of the bacon you are cooking, and sharp cheddar cheese. (Note: Even if you prefer mild cheddar, or some other kind of cheese, use sharp cheddar, as the contrast between the cheese and the sweet flavor of the steak is what helps to make this meal magnificent)

When the steak is filled, cook it however you like it. I like it medium rare, but you don't really care how I like it, do you? It's best to use a thermometer, instead of just looking at how pink the inside is, because the teriyaki marinade will have darkened the meat.

While the steak is cooking, create a mat out of bacon. It does not need to be tight, or attractive, since it will be dismantled later.

Wrap the bacon weave around the steak

Cook until the bacon is almost crispy. Dismantle. Finish cooking the bacon.


Enjoy with a beer of your choosing.


If you're not in Heaven eating this meal, I'll either see you there soon, or I don't want to know you.