Somebody please pour me a glass of motivation.

Not having work is bad for me. Plain and simple. While I may not always enjoy working, I'm deciding that having a steady job is way better than having nothing to do. My reasons being these:

While I do have enough money to have held me over for this past week without anything to do, knowing that I am earning my way is, for some reason, comforting... Work = money. Money = the ability to get things that I want and need. Which leads me to the following.

Having nothing to do means that I fill my time with nothing worth while. I have spent the past week waking up at noon or later, getting something to eat, watching horror movies, and drinking. Four horror movies a day, and just as many drinks. I'm pretty sure that is not a good thing by any trustworthy counsel. And if idle hands are the devil's playground, then idle minds are the... um... devil's.... sorry, what was I saying? Ooooh, I should rent Idle Hands tomorrow. I love that movie. Oh, and someone remind me I need to buy soap. "We were walking down this long tunnel, and there was this bright light at the end, and were like, "Screw that... that's too far."." Ha, Brilliant.


Granted, there are plenty of valuable things I could be doing... like cleaning my room, or fixing my book shelf so I can finally store all of my books in one place without worrying about them all falling on the dresser in my closet which acts as my own personal bar... But hey, I mowed the lawn and did laundry yesterday, all that work would wear anybody out. Besides, if I'm not getting paid for it, what else is supposed to spur me to action?... surely not being a grown up and understanding that certain things need to be done regardless of what little pleasure we find in them. That's preposterous. Now, if you'll excuse me, there are a couple glasses of Pepsi and Dewar's in me yearning to break free.

Best. Gifts. Ever. ?

I recently had a birthday, as people do, and got a lot of great gifts from my loved ones... perhaps the most fantastic, and certainly the most pertinent to this blog, were the bevvy of bacon themed gifts I got from my aunt (and would have gotten from my older brother, had his bottles of home made bacon vodka not exploded before he could give them to me). Sadly, none of these gifts were "Bacon: A love story", but I suppose I will have to buy that for myself. What I did get was the following:

1 jar of Bacon Salt
2 jars of Baconnaise
1 tube of Bacon lip balm
1 case of Bacon dental floss
1 tin of Bacon jelly beans
1 tin of Bacon mints
2 tins of bacon tooth-picks
1 Bacon scented air freshener
1 figurine (and prayer card) of St. Anthony, patron saint of bacon (who knew?)
1 "Seduced by Bacon" cook book.
1 box of Strawberry flavored Bacon gummi's.

All this to say that I have just learned that not all things that are bacon flavored actually taste like bacon. Math formula: Bacon Flavored < Made with real Bacon. Also, Made with real Bacon > Kevin Bacon.


So, have you ever given or received any Bacon themed gifts? I suggest that it's high time you start.


I guess my aunt didn't get the memo that Bake and Bacon fest starts next year.

Bacon: Teacher, mother, secret lover.

On my seemingly never ending quest to kill myself with bacon, there have been many great moments. One of which is cataloged on this very blog. There have also been a few failures (such as honey teriyaki marinated bacon, which basically just stuck to the pan. It needs never be spoken of, save to prevent others from attempting such a sticky disaster). When I caught wind of this masterpiece, my clogged heart skipped a beat. Could it be?.... could someone have joined my two great loves into one glorious beverage?


I implore the teeming millions of you who read my blog to go here http://www.bakonvodka.com/index.php?section=float&page=where (sorry, seems it won't post as a link. gotta copy/paste) and submit your requests for it to be sold in california. If you don't care to have it in your area, use mine (95032) so that I might try it, and let you all know what I think. Also, I welcome any bacon based culinary suggestions. Submit them as a comment. If I like your idea, I might invite you to my 28th birthday "Bake and Bacon" party.